The Collector

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Year:	2009
Country of origin:	USA
Director:	Marcus Dunstan
Genre:	Saw-a-like
Starring:	Josh Stewart, Michael Reilly Burke, Andrea Roth, Juan Fernández, Daniella Alonso, Karley Scott Collins
Rating:	4/5
IMDB link:	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0844479/
Tagline:	He always takes one
Favourite line:	Not a line, a scene, where the villain takes a pair of secateurs to a victims tongue. Just horrid.

I'm feeling an immense sense of relief right now.
Just returned from the cinema where I watched yet another modern horror movie. As I entered the theatre, I was waiting to be disappointed, waiting to feel that burning fury that festers after the first thirty minutes or so, just waiting for the anger to boil over on the way home; screaming at the driver in front for moving too slowly, banging the horn in frustration, or rolling the window down to scream at the old lady doddering across the road with her arms laden with shopping bags, screeching 'Move you fucking hag,' not really angry at her, angry at the lamentable efforts of the movie makers, lashing out at those who deserve it least.
But, no such reaction today.
Today I am an ocean of tranquility, my heart beating slowly in my chest, thirty eight, thirty nine, forty times a minute as I focus on slowing my metabolism to a near catatonic state in a bid to prolong the feelings of genuine pleasure that are coursing through me having sat through ninety minutes of gruel, gruesomeness and gore that had me grinning like an imbecile by the end.

Here's the plot:
Arkin is a man on the edge. His girlfriend has until midnight to lay her hands on a serious amount of cash to fend of the loan sharks that are circling, teeth bared, eager for their pound of flesh. Out of nought but desperation, he plans the robbery of a very wealthy family he has been working for, casing the joint in case of just such an eventuality. He's figured out where the safe is and knows full well that concealed within is a gem worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Getting in is the easy part but, once inside, he discovers he is not alone. The Collector is present, an unidentified male sporting a rather fetching gimp mask and, unexpectedly, the family are still home, trussed up in the basement, playthings of The Collector.
Can Arkin escape the house that The Collector has riddled with lethal booby traps?
Can he help the family escape?
Or will his latent homosexual feelings emerge as he spies the man in leather, so that they join forces and start double-teaming the father whilst still bound in coils of barbed wire?
(I made that last bit up).

Directed by the man responsible for penning Saws 4 through 7, you pretty much know what you are letting yourself in for here, and he delivers it with some conviction. Nasty, brutal and genuinely shocking in places - the secateurs on the tongue is particularly sac shrinking - this is one of those that will divide even horror aficionados, with lovers and loathers in equal measure, some declaring it torture porn, some revelling in its ghastliness.
If Saw or Hostel were too much for your mellow disposition, I'd avoid this like brown snow as this is a nastier animal altogether.
Liked it a lot.