The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

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Year:	2009
Country of origin:	Netherlands
Director:	Tom Six
Genre:	Biological horror
Starring:	Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie, Akihiro Kitamura
Rating:	5/5
IMDB link:	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1467304/
Tagline:	Their flesh is his fantasy.
Favourite line:	"We start with cutting the ligaments of the kneecaps…."

Possibly the most hyped 'nasty' movie of the last couple of years, along with A Serbian Film, this is a Dutch masterclass in depravity.

The plot:
We begin with a particularly classy scene of a Dutch lorry driver pulling over to the side of the road to relieve his bloated arse. As he squats, a maniacal German takes aim and shoots him squarely in the back with a tranquiliser dart.
Cut to a couple of American idiots in a hotel. They're planning an evening out in a nightclub and intend to drive so are looking for directions. They head off, and soon get lost in the forests of Germany, no idea where they are, when their tyre gives up the ghost. No clue as to how to change it, the two girls decide to head for help and stumble upon a random house in Der Middle ov Der Voressten. Being idiots, they knock and are invited in by the shooter of the Dutch shitting man and, before you can sew a mouth to an anus, they are drugged.
Awakening, the maniac reveals his plan: He wants to sew three people together, mouth to arse, linking their gastro-intestinal tracts together to make a HUMAN CENTIPEDE!!!!!

It's blather, of course it is, but it's really well made blather.
The maniac surgeon (Dieter Laser) is excellent in his role, chewing up the scenery with gusto, clearly relishing every moment.
Directorially, this is pretty efficient, with the odd brief exterior shot reinforcing the isolation of the victims.
Sure, it gets a bit silly towards the end, as comedy German policemen show up (this is a Dutch movie, so expect some anti-German bias!) and wander about with mullets flowing but, truthfully, I was on the side of the Mad Doctor all the way.Apparently, a sequel is on the way and I, for one, will be watching.
Hate humans.
Loved this.