Johnny Mnemonic

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Year:	1995
Country of origin:	Canada / USA
Director:	Robert Longo
Genre:	Internet sci-fi guff
Starring:	Keanu Reeves, Dina Meyer, Ice-T, Takeshi Kitano
Rating:	2/5
IMDB link:	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113481/
Tagline:	The future's most wanted fugitive.
Favourite line:	None worth mentioning

Great title, shame the movie is so bloody awful.

The plot:
Reanu Keeves plays Johnny, a data carrier of sorts, jacked up with brain implants to allow him to transport gigabytes worth of raw data in his brain from location to location, all for a hefty price tag, of course. The reason such carriers can charge such vast sums of money is that the act is not without its dangers, as risk of data seepage is considerable and, besides, to have the implants installed huge swathes of long term memory have to be chopped out.
Well, Johnny takes on one last job in order to pay off his debts and, inevitably, the data he is asked to transport is more dangerous than usual, as a large pharmaceutical company want it back and hire The Yakuza to retrieve it.
Keeves is helped along his way by LowTechs, those that rail against The Corporations, turning their technology against them.
Can Johnny download the data before the Japanese Mafia get their hands on him.
Will his brain be able to handle the amount of data or will it destroy itself?
Would anyone notice if it did?

Giving a movie starring Reanu a title that sounds eerily close to 'moronic' seems foolhardy to begin with and here, he more than lives up to his 'lump of wood' acting style tag.
The plot is confused and shambolic, with some truly dreadful lines of dialogue.
Many reviews gripe about the outdated technological references and the now amusing interpretation of the internet, but I can forgive that easily enough. It was 1995, folks, and The Web was yet to establish itself in mainstream society. One notable piece of technology is worth mentioning, though:
The data gloves.
These are unintentionally amusing.
Remember those bits in Minority Report where the characters interacted with a computer interface by sliding their fingers around in midair?
Well, it's a bit like that.
Only rubbish.
Here, the user slips on a pair of ridiculously large gloves and sets to doing a remarkable impression of Marcel Marceau.
Honestly, it's fucking hilarious to watch. I don't know who thought that was a good idea.
Ice-T puts in something of a cameo appearance, and is his usual ice cool self, but that's about the only thing this movie has going for it.
Terribly disappointing.