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A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Year:	2010
Country of origin:	USA
Director:	Robert Schwentke
Genre:	Wacky action comedy….shudder.
Starring:	Bruce Willis, Mary-Louise Parker, Morgan Freeman, Helen Mirren, John Malkovich
Rating:	2/5
IMDB link:	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1245526/
Tagline:	Still Armed. Still Dangerous. Still Got It.
Favourite line:	None worth mentioning

Hmmmm,, very disappointing, this one.
I must confess, I have a bit of a man crush on Bruce Willis. Whenever he dons that tight white vest or T-shirt, something stirs within me and I find myself entertaining thoughts of cuddling up against that massive chest, my arm draped over him as he strokes my hair and we sit together and watch the original Die Hard, the whole time me telling him just how gorgeous he still looks.
Erm....erm....anyway, I do liike girls.
I do....honest....just not as much as Bruce.
Red: Retired and Extremely Dangerous is an action comedy that pretty much fails to deliver on both counts.

The plot:
Bruce is a retired CIA agent who, back in the day, was involved in an operation in Guatemala and, for reasons that become apparent as the movie lurches along, though now retired, this still puts him in jeopardy. Along for the ride are his old team, including Morgan Freeman, Helen Mirren, John Malkovich and a young woman who he only met previously by phone.
The old team assembled, they must defeat the evil-doers and get back to their quiet lives of retirement.

And it is pretty damn dreadful.
The issue here, folks, is all about tone. It goes for blackly comic and just comes off as 'wacky,' a word that, for any right minded individual, should fill their bowels with dread. Malkovich is at his 'zany' worst, a sub Chris Lloyd imbecile, whilst Bruce simply seems uncomfortable. Indeed, the only real saving grace here is Mirren, who comes across as a dark and dangerous femme fatale who, at the age of 60+ is still damn sexy when she wields a massive machine gun.
Over-wraught, overblown and with only two moments of genuine class - the car spinning out of control as Bruce casually walks from it, and the appearance of Mirren's massive gun - this is a genuine misfire that disappointed me so much I demanded a refund at the box office - they told me to clear off, incidentally.
Regretfully,
Extremely
Disappointing.