John Carter

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Year:	2012
Country of origin:	USA
Director:	Andrew Stanton
Genre:	Fantasy fluff
Starring:	Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, Samantha Morton, Willem Dafoe, Mark Strong, Dominic West, James Purefoy
Rating:	4/5
IMDB link:	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0401729/
Tagline:	Lost in Our World. Found in Another.
Favourite line:	"Virginia!"

Taking a bit of a kicking from the critics, it can’t be as bad as they say, can it?

The plot:
It’s the American Civil war, and Captain John Carter is thrown into jail for refusing to carry out his duties. He simply won’t fight, not for anyone, and the army find that a troublesome thing.
Escaping from his cell, Carter becomes caught in the middle of crossfire between the Pale Skins and the Apaches, and hides in some caves. Finding a broach on the floor, suddenly he is transported…somewhere.
Awakening in a world full of weird, six armed aliens, strange, feathered flying machines and muscular men sporting Greco-Roman style armour and tunics, waving their well polished helmets around with some gusto, it takes him a little while to realise he is actually on Mars.
Though a Mars teeming with life.
Caught in the midst of a new battle, a war on a world not even his own, Carter must decide whether to fight, or live forever in servitude.

Critical reaction has been very negative, and remarkably harsh, it would seem., though there is a reason. Originally entitled John Carter of Mars, in keeping with Tarzan creator Edgar Rice Burroughs’ source material, the studio decided to drop the words ‘Of Mars’ in order not to put people off by, you know, letting them know the movie is a science fiction flick. This massive level of cynicism – come in, come in, pay your money, sit down. What’s that? You don’t like sci-fi? Too late, we’ve got your cash now so go fuck yourselves – seems to have caused some needle, and with good reason.
But let’s put that disgracefully exploitative attitude to one side – they’re scum, and we all know it - and concentrate on the actual movie.
Coming across as a boys own adventure style story, in space, this rollicks and frolics along, boundless in its enthusiasm for the concept, just hurling stuff at the screen in a bid to spare the viewer a moment’s tedium.
And it works.
Coming it at a pain-inducing $250 million dollars – it really will have to go some to make that much back - every cent of it can be seen on screen and, for once, the SFX overload is welcome, creating a plausible if totally ridiculous reality that soon begins to seem normal. There are a few exceptions.
The low gravity of Mars means that Carter, with his big, muscular, Earth-type legs can bound hundreds of feet into the air and, frankly, as he is prancing around the place, it does look rather silly.
Also, some of the alien make-up design is a touch over the top, but I’m nit-picking there. All in all, a family film that entertains relentlessly and, clocking in at the two hour fifteen mark, that takes a bit of doing.
Recommended – but watch it in 2D: the 3D is meant to be appalling.