The Wolverine

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Year:	2013
Country of origin:	USA
Director:	James Mangold
Genre:	Comic book sequel
Starring:	Hugh Jackman, Tao Okamoto, Rila Fukushima, Svetlana Khodchenkova, Famke Janssen
Rating:	2/5
IMDB link:	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1430132/
Tagline:	When enemies rise... when immortality ends... the ultimate battle begins.
Favourite line:	None worth mentioning

The follow up to the hugely disappointing X-Men spin-off, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, we were promised lashing of inventive action and pathos and a genuine insight into the deep, darkish soul of everyone's favourite adamantium-clawed reluctant hero.
We didn't get it.

The plot:
Logan, The Wolverine, spent the latter part of the Second World War in Japan. Whilst there, he saved the life of a Japanese soldier, just as the Nagasaki A-Bomb was detonated.
In present day, tormented by feverish dreams of X-flame Jean Grey (the still scrumptious Famke Janssen), Logan is visited by Yukio, a fellow mutant who has the power to see how people will die. Persuaded to take a trip to Japan to save the life of an ailing old sort who happens to run a mega-corporation, Logan must fend off the demons of his past along with his present day nightmares, else incur the wrath of Viper....

At the age of 23, I was compelled by my GP to endure a mole-ectomy, to remove a suspicious looking brown growth from the top of my upper thigh......

Started promisingly, this, with an engaging enough action set-piece, as Jugh Hackman uses his extraordinary gifts to save the life of a Japanese soldier, terrified at the thought of death.

.....arriving at the hospital I was nervous, all the more so when I was obliged to sit in a wheelchair to enter the operating room.....

Then the main story kicks in, and things seem to grind to a halt.

.....and, as the doctor began to prepare his instruments, I felt my heart quicken a little, even began to enjoy the experience......

Throw in a romantic angle so misplaced, misguided and mismanaged you'd swear somebody was actually taking the piss, and what you have is something of a sufferance.

.....so that, when asked if I wanted to watch the proceedings, I said yes. I looked on as the doctor made his initial incision, and the first droplets of blood began to pool in the small rent formed......

The X-Men franchise, at its best, is an adrenaline fuelled ensemble piece, infused with more than a little political subtext. This was nothing short of appalling. Only the occasional smart SFX piece, and Jugh Hackman's hirsute presence spares it the ignominy of a one out of five.

.....and, before any time at all had seemed to pass, it was over and, amazingly, I had enjoyed the experience.

If only the same could have been said for this shambolic mess of a feature.
Bored me to the point of inducing a life-saving catatonic state, so much of the movie passed in a half-conscious fug.
Dreadful.