Tuesday 22 November 2011

The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)

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Year:2008
Country of origin:USA / Canada
Director:Scott Derrickson
Genre:Movies for morons
Starring:Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Connelly, Kathy Bates
Rating:2/5
IMDB link:http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0970416/
Tagline:12.12.08 is the Day the Earth Stood Still
Favourite line:None worth mentioning

Reanu Keeves stars as Klaatu in this skull crushingly stupid remake of a sci-fi classic.

The plot:
A large, glowing sphere takes control of an Arctic explorer type, and infuses him with the essence of a being known as Klaatu. Sent to Earth as a sort of scout party, to see if humanity is deserving of continuation, the rest of his buddies arrive in the form of loads more glowing spheres, the principle interest being on the one in Central Park, NYC from which emerges both Klaatu, who is promptly shot, followed by a giant robot, dubbed G.O.R.T. (Genetically Organized Robotic Technology!)
G.O.R.T. has the power to disrupt electricity and paralyse humans with sound waves.
Well, initially Klaatu determines that humanity is beyond redemption, so G.O.R.T. releases a bunch of nanobots which proceed to consume everything in their wake - cars, people, football stadiums - but then Klaatu has a revelation, as an annoying little shit stain takes him to a graveyard and demonstrates that humans aren't just warlike maniacs, after all, and they should be spared.
But is it too late?

And it is so head pummellingly thick in every regard, I was on the point of tears by the end.
Reanu is absolutely abject in his performance here, resembling a man who hadn't even bothered to learn his lines and was under the influence of some form of IQ draining condition.
The effects are OK, I guess, the plot is contrived and patronising and so fucking obvious if you haven't guessed how this will end after half an hour go check yourself into a clinic, post haste.
Brain sappingly poor, this only gains a mark for the laugh out loud performance of Reanu, which was certainly entertaining, but for all the wrong reasons.
Besides that, this is absolute rubbish.

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