Planet of the Apes (2001)

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Year:	2001
Country of origin:	USA
Director:	Tim Burton
Genre:	Did an orangutan actually direct this?.
Starring:	Mark Wahlberg, Helena Bonham Carter, Tim Roth
Rating:	2/5
IMDB link:	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0133152/
Tagline:	The battle begins November 20th
Favourite line:	None worth mentioning

There are only two reasons I can think of to do a remake of a genuine classic movie.
1: Make a complete reinvention, putting a modern slant on an old idea, effectively making a brand new movie with brand new ideas.
2: Use modern technology to enhance the visuals on an already rock solid idea. This fails on both counts.

The plot:
Mark Wahlberg plays an astronaut, flung through time and space via a magnetic storm, crash landing on a planet where the highest form of life is the ape, with humans deemed savage and barbaric. The ape overlords are ruthless in their exploitation of the human animals, the savages cowed, that is until Marky Mark shows up and leads them in a revolt against their simian masters.

The concept is clearly very similar to the original, though there are some tweaks, including the apes origins, and the location of the planet itself, though neither adds any substance, instead serving to lose the power of the original, particularly with regards the ending. Listen up, I can fully understand why Burton did not want to, erm, ape the original movies ending, but if you are going to meddle, at least improve.
So that deals with the first point mentioned above, but what of the second?
Well, given that this movie was made some thirty three years after the source movie, the make up effects are bound to be better, right?
Wrong.
The ape masks are massively inferior to the old ones, lacking the flexibility and range of emotions and, in a bid to update, the actors scurry on all fours, attempting to look all monkey-tastic, instead looking frankly ridiculous.
Oh, and it's boring as hell too.
Jesus it's dull.
It's been a while since a movie has angered me as much as this one, the rage kindled by one simple thought: what is the point in this?
The answer?
None at all.
Avoid.