Mission: Impossible II

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Year:	2000
Country of origin:	USA / Germany
Director:	John Woo
Genre:	Bloated espionage nonsense
Starring:	Tom Cruise, Dougray Scott, Thandie Newton, Ving Rhames
Rating:	2/5
IMDB link:	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120755/
Tagline:	Expect the impossible again
Favourite line:	"You know women, mate. Like monkeys, they are - won't let go of one branch until they've got hold of the next."

Uuuurrrrgggghhhhhh.
More bloat-fare from Hollywood, I'm afraid.

Bruise is back as super agent Ethan Hunt, this time trying to put a stop to some evil biochemical sorts who have developed a lethal biochemical agent known as Chimera. Along the way he'll have to climb a mountain in an improbable fashion, descend on some ropes for an improbable reason, and take part in a highly improbable car chase.

And that's about it.
And it lasts for the best part of two and a half hours.
Except it doesn't, I just thought it did because it bored me so much.
A film clocking in at two hours shouldn't take this long to end, surely.
Cruise is in full on narcissist mode, taking every opportunity to show off his freakishly toned body (that's the power of The Thetans for you), and John Woo's stylised direction only serves to annoy. One exception to this is the, yes, highly improbable bike chase towards the end of the movie, which is simply stunning.
Nonsense, sure, but top class cinema.
And that chase sequence, good good people, is the only reason this pile of shite didn't get 1 out of 5.
Pretty rubbish, then.