Smell the Movies
Smell the TV
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
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| Year: | 2011 |
| Country of origin: | USA |
| Director: | Zack Snyder |
| Genre: | The pathetic wet dream of a man-child |
| Starring: | Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Chung, Carla Gugino, Oscar Isaac |
| Rating: | 1/5 |
| IMDB link: | http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0978764/ |
| Tagline: | You Will Be Unprepared. |
| Favourite line: | None worth mentioning |
Simply dreadful.
The plot:
A young woman, known only as Baby Doll, is sent to an institution by her wicked stepfather soon after the passing of her mother.
Once there, she retreats into a lavish world of fantasy as she plots her escape…
It near beggars belief that a movie with so much action, so much on screen mayhem, so much movement and chaos and momentum could be so utterly, crushingly, mind-bogglingly, stupefyingly, absurdly dull, dull, dull.
This is a movie that features Nazi zombies.
This is a movie that features relentless, emotionless cybernetic killbots.
This is a movie that features a fire breathing dragon.
That features samurai swords, a city's destruction, machine guns, biplanes and blimps. Not to mention an assortment of sexy young things wearing the kind of fetish gear with the power to make grown men weep.
And yet.
Aaaaand yet....it is so fucking boring you'll want to eat your own fingers whilst it's on.
A laser beam here, a hold-up stocking there, a slit throat here, a flash of knickers there.
Yawn, yawn, yawn, yawn, yawn.
It's like Snyder delved into every male fantasy and attempted to spunk it all onto the screen, only to find his lustful outpourings watery and weak.
Noisy, nonsensical - honestly, this makes not one jot of sense - and eye stabbingly tedious.
Sure, the girls were smokin' hot, but the movie was fucking awful.
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