Universal Soldier

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Year:	1992
Country of origin:	USA
Director:	Roland Emmerich
Genre:	Super soldier action nonsense
Starring:	Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren
Rating:	4/5
IMDB link:	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105698/
Tagline:	The ultimate weapons of the future have just declared war... on each other.
Favourite line:	Soldier: "They swam a mile and a half in four minutes?" Colonel Perry: "They're eight seconds behind schedule."

Have you ever been to the butchers and demanded two huge slabs of beef for the price of one?
No?
Well, that's exactly what you get here, as Van Damme and Lundgren square off in the Battle of the Bulges.

See, both were Vietnam veterans, only Dolph was a bit more gung-ho than the Gook loving Van Damme, who rebelled when Dolph took it upon himself to become judge, jury and executioner over a village of peaceful Vietnamese sorts. As far as he was concerned, they were all the enemy, but hand grenading a young girl was a step too far for the Belgian Butt-Clencher - think Willem Dafoe and Tom Berenger in Platoon, only without the ability to act, and you're just about there. They start fighting and, before you know it they're both dead, zipped up in bodybags and shipped off home.
Skip to present day and, mysteriously, they appear to be up and around, operating for a black ops unit called Universal Soldier.
Only, they're not really alive, and they shouldn't be able to remember what happened all those years ago because if they could, the same thing might start happening again......
Dum, dum, dummmmmm......

Testosterone fuelled and utterly preposterous, this is nevertheless highly enjoyable, and possibly Man Slamme's finest hour outside of Bloodsport.
Unzip your trousers, cup your testicles, sit back and enjoy this boys actioner.
Trust me. It's exactly how I watched it.