Saturday 24 March 2012

Deep Rising

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Year:1998
Country of origin:USA
Director:Stephen Sommers
Genre:Ocean invaders
Starring:Famke Janssen, Treat Williams, Kevin J. O'Connor
Rating:4/5
IMDB link:http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118956/
Tagline:Full scream ahead.
Favourite line:"You mean we're all gonna die 'cause you screwed up on the math?"

Sometimes it's good not to take movies too seriously.

The plot:
A new luxury liner, the marvellously monikered Argonautica, is embarking on its maiden voyage.
On board, the usual smattering of toffs and hoi-polloi, stuffing their bloated, privileged faces full of force-fed goose liver and the scrapings from the egg-sac of a female sturgeon.
Also on board, Trillian (Famke 'Christ I want to marry you' Janssen), a thief, obviously up to something.
In the middle of the night, a boat pulls up, mercenaries on board, intent on provoking a hostage situation but, when they get on the vessel, all is not right.
Blood is smeared everywhere and, worse, the crew are complaining about mysterious 'things' taking people.
Well, quick as you can say 'evil alien tentacle' chaos ensues, and a fight for survival begins.

Daft as a bag of marshmallow flavoured scratchings, this is a never ending cavalcade of cliché after cliché after cliché, but no less engaging for it.
One dimensional characters bark derivative line after derivative line, no-one actually able to act, but who cares, right?
This is all about the be-tentacled gribblies attacking the vessel and, though the CGI work is a touch shoddy at times, it is more than made up for by the 'ick' factor.
See, these beasts swallow you whole and digest you while you are still alive, then puke up the bones and other inedible tissues in a bile-laced yellow gloop.
It's great.
Remember Beastmaster? Those creatures with leathery wings that engulfed people and digested them where they stood.
They're just like them.
Only with tentacles.
Immature, silly, hokey nonsense that just about pushes every single button, dead on.
Love it.

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