Safe House

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Year:	2012
Country of origin:	USA / South Africa
Director:	Daniel Espinosa
Genre:	Generic thriller borefest
Starring:	Denzel Washington, Ryan Reynolds, Vera Farmiga
Rating:	1/5
IMDB link:	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1599348/
Tagline:	No One Is Safe
Favourite line:	None worth mentioning

A new Denzel movie.
Always an event down here at Smell the Cult HQ.

The plot:
Tobin Frost (Denzel) is a wanted man who, when faced with the prospect of assassination, decides instead to walk into a CIA office and turn himself in.
Transferred to a South African safe house, rookie agent Matt Weston (Ryan ‘The Green Hornet’, ‘Buried’ Reynolds) is assigned to look after him.
Suddenly, the power goes out and, before you can throw a big, shiny grenade, invaders enter the building, clearly after Frost.
Now Reynolds must decide: be the man responsible for losing Tobin Frost, or risk his own life to keep him captive.

And by all the Christ’s this side of Uranus, it’s shockingly generic.
By the numbers spills and no-thrills, we have close quarters combat, car chases, running, shouting, and gun play.
Lots and lots of gun play.
Men run. Wave guns around.
Men run, they shout. They wave their guns around.
Men run, they shout and they jump through the air, all the while waving their well polished guns around, eager that the world look at the impressive size of their weapons.
It’s fucking pathetic.
I love Denzel. I really do. I’ve got something of a man-crush on him. I love his sparkly brown eyes. I love his smile, half-embarrassed, half oozing confidence, but most of all I love his frown. When he turns to someone and frowns at them menacingly, I just melt and go all gooey inside.
But even Denzel couldn’t save this.
I dozed off after about an hour – deliberately, just so the end came quicker.
Fucking rubbish.