Smell the Movies
Smell the TV
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
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| Year: | 2011 |
| Country of origin: | USA |
| Director: | Marcus Nispel |
| Genre: | Fantasy nonsense |
| Starring: | Jason Momoa, Stephen Lang, Rose McGowan, Ron Perlman |
| Rating: | 1/5 |
| IMDB link: | http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0816462/ |
| Tagline: | No tagline |
| Favourite line: | None worth mentioning |
Remake of the cult sword and sorcery favourite.
The plot:
Conan is a man born of battle, whose mother gave birth on the field of war. Conan belongs to the tribe known as the Cimmerian, residing in the land of Hyboria. When, as an adolescent, Conan witnesses his village being razed to the ground and his father murdered, he adopts the life of a wanderer but, as is the way of these things, his wandering days cannot last and, eventually, his life must come full circle as he faces the man responsible for his father's death.....
With Baywatch stalwart Jason Momoa in the lead role, this is a real mess of a movie. One battle scene leads to another battle scene leads to another, with nothing by way of character development in between, to make you care about the stuff that's actually taking place.
Momoa broods, holds aloft his broad sword and flares his nostrils menacingly as required but, in truth, he's not very good when called on to do anything else like, you know, speaking for instance.
There's some guff about a tyrannical ruler searching for a 'pure-blood' so that he can become a God but, frankly, the whole thing was so terribly tiresome I stopped watching the film and started listening to my mp3 player after about an hour.
Far and away the most tedious film I've seen in a while, even copious amounts of bare-breasted wenches couldn't save this one.
Didn't like the original much.
Really hated this.
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