Black Eagle

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Year:	1988
Country of origin:	USA
Director:	Eric Karson
Genre:	Shitfest
Starring:	Jean-Claude Van Damme, Shô Kosugi, Doran Clark
Rating:	1/5
IMDB link:	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094750/
Tagline:	There are no enemies. There is no glory. This fight is one on one.
Favourite line:	None worth mentioning. Utter drivel

I sit here at my computer, typing these words with only one hand. The other hand is holding a screwdriver which I am gradually inserting into the meat of my right thigh, desperately, desperately trying to blot out the pain and suffering I have recently endured.
Half a bottle of whisky made some kind of an impression, erasing some of the memories though many remain, seared onto my cortex.
Only the pain can eradicate the remainder.
Only the pain and the blood.
I can smell the blood and, somehow, it soothes me.
Black Eagle is possibly the worst movie ever made.
There, I've gone and said it.
So awful in fact that I simply cannot be bothered to write my own review and will instead steal the words of another:

"One of the US Air Force's most modern tactical aircrafts, a F-100 with a new laser guidance system, crashes into the sea near Malta - a region where the Soviet forces are highly present, too. The CIA immediately sends out their best secret agent Ken Tami to salvage the system before it falls into enemy hands. To ensure his loyalty, they bring his two young sons to a nearby hotel on the island. Ken Tami's tough opponent is KGB agent Andrei."

Cited from IMDB with thanks to the author Tom Zoerner (Tom.Zoerner@informatik.uni-erlangen.de)

The screwdriver is embedded two inches now, perhaps a little more.
The memories are fading, fading.
Another few sips of whisky should be enough.
Christ, I'm miserable.